when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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