I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
