Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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