i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
