my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
