Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
