i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
