I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
ttyl tear gas
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
