I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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