Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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