This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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