A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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