I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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