I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
