His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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