To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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