i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
