Will you blow on my dice?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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