Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize