My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
