I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize