Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
