At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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