First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Too much gin, very little bucket
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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