I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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