this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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