i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
