Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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