It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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