Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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