remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
