I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
