I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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