Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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