:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize