Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
