wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
