Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
