so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize