the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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