It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
