I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Be still, my beating vagina.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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