She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
