Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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