gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
