My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Semen is not good for contacts.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
