Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
