But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
