But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
