the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
