this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
