Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
