put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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