This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
