When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
