after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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