and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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