East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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