i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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