Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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